I don't know what the disability and sexuality session is going to be like today, because I'm posting this beforehand for my homework, but thinking about it reminded me of this video I saw once.
People value themselves often in terms of other people's views of them. I certainly experience this; if I apply or audition for something and don't receive the spot, I'm likely to feel inferior because of how someone else ranked me among the other applicants.
In the video, the speaker seems to have learned to value himself based on his own terms rather than other people's. He tells the girls, "You are beautiful" and the boys, "You da man", which, when received in the intended way, supports the students by assuring them that they don't have to meet other people's standards; they are good enough in their own way; beating themselves up about not meeting some cultural standard is self-degrading in an attempt to chisel themselves to meet an unnecessary expectation.
The rules I'm about to say aren't strictly categorized by male/female, but I think are common. It seems that women have a hard time accepting their natural appearance, while men have a hard time accepting their level of performance. I think both are in attempts to achieve the liking and respect of others. Hence, many women chisel themselves with eating disorders and many men chisel themselves with valuing messages like, "You are worthless unless you can win". Both conditions involve being discontent with life.
The only problem I have with the above video is that his separate messages to girls and boys "beautiful VS. the man" probably reinforce sex roles--that women are meant for appearance and that men are meant for performance. Or maybe it is an attempt to combat that message; it is hard to say. But it makes me uncomfortable when he says it.
Dane
That was awesome, thanks for sharing it Dane! I want to go get the DVD and feel great all the time :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you though - when I heard the 'beautiful' vs. 'man' comment, it almost negated his previous messages (though of course he means well, as you say). But yes, it definitely made me uncomfortable. I think that's a great effect for it to have had on us both, though, since it kind of points to the consciousness-raising effect our group has probably had on us both!
I always appreciate your angles on male/female experience-contrasting (though of course generalizations aren't universal, as you note). This time it was good to be reminded that discontent in general is a shared theme for both sexes. Reminds me that fostering discontent yields a lot of economic value for some - and that consciousness-raising will have to integrate more deeply with economic markets and business models at some point to really take effect on people's personal lives. It just seems so clear to me lately that the personal is the political is the economic is the social is the material etc.; that there's no hard line anywhere, and that 'nothing happens in a bubble'.
shanti
Thanks Dane!
ReplyDeleteI like that you took a comment that looks pretty offensive at fist glance and gave a little more nuance to it without completely accepting it. I thought it was interesting that you saw Nick addressing two different standards for girls and boys and saw him telling both that they didn't need to meet that standard because they were already there. Remembering what Alex said at the panel on Tuesday, I do wonder if this promotional video focuses too much on Nick's strength for overcoming obstacles and not enough on what specific wisdom, or skills, he has to offer in the dvd.
And Shanti, I totally agree that unattainable standards are fostered to promote unending consumption, and I'd love for you to bring as much discussion about economic and political implications of our topics into the classroom as you want to bring.
Love learning from you!
Audrey
Another thing I think promotes unending consumption is those magazine covers that say stuff like "Scandalous photos of celebrities not wearing makeup!"
ReplyDeleteDane